Time out..the good kind

I think that everyone needs to take some time out. Today I went to 'Quirky Kids', a parent group for people with children with Aspergers/Autism/Sensory processing issues. When ever I hang out with these mums I always come away feeling fantastic. Special needs mums can be incredible. They leave me feeling empowered, hopeful and understood. Parents have been my best source of information since my first child was diagnosed with Aspergers. Back then I did an 'Early Days' workshop for parents just discovering the world of Autism. There I met my wonderful friend Debbie. We immediately became friends and I felt like she had all the answers and she was the first person to truly understand what I was dealing with. Debbie continues to have all the answers. She also continues to be my biggest source of support in my Autism journey. So, i think everyone needs to take some time out but I also think that everyone needs a Debbie.

 Today when Debbie was leaving she said that Chloe makes her feel quite hopeful when thinking of her own aspie daughter's future. Chloe is a couple of weeks shy of ten and she certainly has come a long way. She was only just diagnosed a few months ago. Before that she had to not only deal with the frustrations of her Aspergers but she also had to deal with the frustrations of being told off when she wasn't functioning well because we just saw her behaviour as defiance and laziness when in fact it was despair, anxiety and confusion. I feel bad that she has had to deal with such a heavy load with no support but since her diagnosis everything just fell into place. I now understand her behaviours and what's driving them. Now I can work WITH her. For years before she was diagnosed I would speak to her teachers about why she may have been struggling. They never had the answers. I took her to psychologists and doctors and they couldn't work it out. I think one day, after the 2 boys were diagnosed, I was pondering the issue for about the millionth time and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. She did act differently to the boys but ultimately it was the same deficits holding her back. She just handled it differently. It was no surprise when I did a little bit of research and discovered that Aspie girls and Aspie boys have significant differences. For a start, Chloe does have some empathy. Also she is less self focused than her brothers. She will try quite hard to make others happy. Chloe's number one trouble is the anxiety. She doesn't like a lot of attention and will try to fit in at all costs. Still, we have come a long way from the screaming meltdowns. I'm sure the neighbours thought that we were beating her rather than hovering next to her trying to calm her down. She has a lot of challenges to overcome and obviously she will never lose her Aspergers traits but she is back on track and I no longer panic about where she'll end up in her adult years... well anymore than any other parent. She's a lovely kid with a lot of potential and by far the easiest to deal with in our world of Aspergers.